ANCESTORS
JAMES CRAIG'S family
My grandparents RACHEL BOBBINGER-STUMPF, CRAIG E STUMPF & my father, Jimmy:
Jimmy's grandfather installed a pipe from the spring to the house so they had running water. He was the first in the town to do so. The neighbors, being jealous, told him he would raise lazy boys that way, so his granddad took the piping out.
My grandfather, who ran a general store along with a sign business on the side, died when Jim was only sixteen. Rachel was his second wife and somewhat younger. Being a Stumpf who had a "good strict German upbringing" himself, he was very strict with Jim.
My parent JAMES CRAIG STUMPF (JIM CRAIG)
Jimmy was born in a German community in Pennsylvania. He worked in his father's store as a young lad hitching up the team and helping deliver goods. Jimmy was the only child who could communicate with his grandmother, who spoke only French. The family moved west via an open train to the Lodi area in California, where again he worked in his father's store. He started high school there and later he graduated from Glendale High School in the Los Angeles, California area.
My grandfather financed his sister's, Eva, college education but died before Jim reached college age. Jimmy won a scholarship to college, but had to give it up to support his mother, Rachel. He very much resented not being able to attend college with this scholarship. He must of been kind of wild, and he rode a motor bike for a number of years.
He spoke numerous languages, Latin, French, German, Spanish and, of course, English. He was widely read. He practiced hours each day playing the piano. I was told he was good enough to be a concert pianist. He played the violin. Jimmy studied on his own math and engineering. During the depression he made his living as a surveyor and was working on a big dam project when I was born. I inherited his math books and observed that he worked his way thru them all.
During WWI, Jimmy, as the oldest child, was required to babysit his many cousins, a common practice, while the women worked at projects – sewing, etc. for the war cause. He felt he was very close to these cousins and loved them. The Stumpfs were Catholic and had raised Jim, the oldest son (and only child), to be a priest. This preordained occupation was common in those days, so he studied Catholicism. Later he became an atheist because of what he perceived to be hypocrisy within the priesthood. It annoyed him to see the priests drunk and gambling. He watched the priests forgive people in confession on Saturday, then these people would go and get drunk and maybe not be able to make it to church on Sunday. [Forgiveness for human foibles did not seem to be one of his attributes.] For a number of years he had dated a blond lady; this relationship Rachel, finally, was able to break up. In later years Rachel made a living reading cards.
Jim met Tedi in a art sketching class while she was still married. After Tedi was divorced for a year she and Jim started dating. They married when he was 29 and Tedi 30. Rachel did not approve of this marriage, especially since Tedi was divorced. Her love was conditional on the rigid adherence to established practices she was brought up with. Rachel did everything she could to break them up until after Kim was born; he was 30. She considered me a bastard (same for Craig later). At that point she moved back to the Lodi area and we never saw her again. Her desire to force conformity on Jim had failed, so she withdrew herself and her love. However, she wrote. Every time Jim got a letter from her he was upset. I remember when I was about 8 she was going to visit us. I was all excited to meet her. We cleaned the house and were all ready for her arrival there in Hollywood. She never showed up.
The rest of the family more or less disowned Jim except for his Aunt Eva. We had yearly contact with her and Violet and Ora Enterline during my younger years. He sorely missed his cousins. [Jimmy told me this during the period I took care of him before he died.] I knew no one else in his family. As a child I wrote Aunt Eva and Rachel. Rachel's letters to me were in vain in trying to convert me to Catholicism; she also sent me money for an Xmas gift. So I liked her. For her I did attend the Catholic church for about a year while I was in college, before I dated Bob Keaten. However, its teachings were in conflict with my developing ideas.
Jimmy became a leader -- he became president of the Georgia chapter of Toastmasters and also he worked his way up in the Lockheed hierarchy to the top echelon. He reported to Lockheed's president. He helped develop new ideas, a system of planning called critical path (Pert) methods. He was not satisfied to live with the status quo as set by society.
TEDI STRASHUN'S family
My grandparents HENRIETTA MARTHA FOY, LEON ISADORE STRASHUN & Tedi:
Grandma was born in 1873, a year following her Dad's return to the plantation in Whistler (near Mobile), Alabama after 20 years leave. He worked in the gold fields of California. He was a 49er and had become deaf while working in the mines. Can you imagine her mother waiting for someone 20 years? Shortly after her birth her dad was killed when walking across a train trestle. She didn't remember him. Her mother also died when she was very young; but she remembered Negroes caring for her as a very young child.
As an orphan, she left the rural countryside to go to Chicago. Her older sister, Josephine, raised Grandma with her own children. In other words, her nieces and nephews became her siblings. Until she was 30, she sang in the opera, a very risque and daring thing to do in those days. This was the last of the Queen Victorian age. She married a renowned orchestra leader in 1904 in Chicago, Ill, then basically retired to raise Tedi, an only child, in a very sheltered, but well to do, life style. She devoted herself to the art of family life and completely sacrificed herself for her family. Her home was her fortress. They had fine furniture, Persian rugs, mahogany furniture, a big 4 poster bed and silver, linen and a fine china set for dinner. The living room curtains were drawn and furniture protected with dust covers, a room clearly off limits in the normal course of family events. On special holidays the dust covers were removed, curtains opened, and we were allowed to join the adults in the living room. She had a beautiful garden where she sang as she worked. She had a lovely voice. She had an inner strength where I am sure at times her deep laugh shooed away any hurt feelings. She would tell me to stand up straight and don't let them know they hurt you. The only time she stood up to Granddaddy was she would not let him teach us Russian. Although we did learn the Lord’s Prayer in Russian. She still wore a corset; I use to lace it up for her propping my foot against her back pulling on the strings. Because of her good cooking she became very fat. She was the one constant person in our younger lives that had time just for us. She was loving and had lots of hugs.
She was also an excellent cook and took great pains to fix a very special meal. The kitchen was her room; she taught us to cook there. We eat breakfast and lunch in her kitchen in a little booth; but dinner was eaten at the dining room table. A fine mahogany table was set with silver, china and glasses with two silver candelabras in the center. Although very formal, being formal was comfortable and the center of family life. We would set down to a fine meal and enjoy conversation. We had to ask to be excused. The table would be cleared and cards or dominoes or chess games were played. Grandma and Granddaddy took turns reading the Bible lesson to us at the table.
Granddaddy came to America from Vilna, Lithuania when his family was fleeing from persecution – one family member was Russian Jewish. While in Russia Leon studied music (violin) under Leopold Auer (a world famous violinist and teacher) in St. Petersburg, Russia in the 1890s at the Conservatory when he was 15 yrs old. Granddaddy toured and played violin in Europe and this country, including at the New York Metropolitan Opera. Later he became an orchestra leader at the Chicago opera, Seattle opera, San Francisco opera, and Hawaii opera houses. He also conducted music for the silent films. Granddaddy was always investing in stocks and lost a lot during the Depression. He had stacks of bad stock certificates in a box. They never bought a house but rented the same apartment for a number of years.
Granddaddy was a perfectionist and had a excellent ear for music. As an orchestra leader he had to be. I can remember sitting at a piano practicing and his yelling at me every time I made a mistake. Tedi told me she went through that also. Neither of us learned to play the piano. He was one of several children, but they lost contact with his family after he and Grandma left Chicago. Grandma couldn't stand his family, thought they were uncouth. Tedi was terrified of her grandfather. He had a huge beard and was loud, fat and always wanted to hold her. Leon became a US citizen in 1898. He always wore a suit, a vest, white shirt and tie, even to the beach. He was so "proper".
His car ("The Machine") was taken care of very carefully. It was a two seat gray sedan with a thin red strip along the side. One made sure they didn't scratch it or get it dirty. He polished it a lot. When he and Grandma took us to the beach, we had to be very careful not to get sand in the "machine" afterwards. We would get tar on our feet from the ocean; it had to get scraped off before we could get in. We had to sit in the small almost dark space behind the seats to ride with them. He would take Grandma grocery shopping and go to work in it, never anywhere else except the beach. Grandma was not allowed to drive it. Grandma seldom went anywhere. He liked to take pictures and spent a lot of time setting them up. By the time he was ready we, being impatient children, just wanted to get going. We enjoyed riding around the block on scooters they got for us. One time we were zooming down a steep sidewalk when I saw a car coming. I dived off my scooter into Bruce to keep him from flying into the vehicle and getting hit. As he fell he broke his front tooth. He was mad about that; but I am sure he preferred that to being hit by a vehicle. He cried; I felt bad. To me Granddaddy was a fat man who sat in his chair in front of the radio at night and went to sleep snoring. He worked at UCLA in the music department. He always wanted to kiss me. He picked Bruce and me up from Berkeley Hall school on Friday and took us to their apartment. Tedi picked us up next day and took us home. Sometimes she and Jimmy joined us for the card games also. We played with little horse toys all over their floor. I remember a beautiful big 4 poster mahogany bed they had.
My parent HENRIETTA HALLIWELL STRASHUN - TEDI'S childhood
Grandma was 33 when Tedi was born in Chicago in 1906. Tedi’s childhood, as an only child, was very lonely. With a name like that you can imagine how they treated her - a china doll. She was so protected that she was never allowed the liberty to make decisions or have friends. They moved several times – from Chicago, to Seattle, to San Francisco, to Los Angeles, and even 6 months in Hawaii (which Tedi loved).
Granddaddy was caught up in his own interests. He left in the afternoon to work all night; he was asleep when Tedi was getting ready for school. She saw little of him except on his days off. He had Monday and Tuesday off and loved to fish. At times, they would pull Tedi out of school and the family would go fishing in La Honda or over on the coast south of San Francisco. Grandma, being suspicious and jealous, would at times wake Tedi up in the night and haul her around to see if Granddaddy was seeing other women.
One frightening experience she had when she snuck away by herself ice skating on a frozen pond in Seattle. The ice broke and she fell through. Somehow she managed to swim out and make it home. (That makes more sense than the pond in San Francisco that she told me was that she fell thru.)
She was so coddled that she didn't even know how to comb her hair when, at 16, she ran away from home and got married. That was like jumping from a frying pan into a fire. She didn't finish high school. Her husband turned out to be a drunk and beat on her. The night she learned to drive a car was when he was drunk and couldn't drive them home. She had to get the crank started; then slowly crept across town with him asleep. L.A. was much smaller in those days, but the ride terrified her. Being the Depression Era her husband didn't always have a job, so she worked as a waitress. They ate leftover scraps. Being raised in a privileged class you can imagine the effect this had on her.
She started working long hours as a costume designer at Paramount Studio under the name of Tedi Barri. Her right arm became very painful and she wore very thick glasses. She had to start using her left hand to ease the extreme pain in her arm. After years of medical treatment and being told by a doctor she would lose her sight within a year, she took up the study of Christian Science and was healed of both problems. My Grandparents also took up the study.
Tedi liked to ride horses, hike, sail, and play with her dogs - all outdoor activities and basically loner type of activities. When Tedi went into fine arts in Atlanta, she again changed her name to Carley Craig.
YOUR MOTHER'S CHILDHOOD - Kim Craig
TEDI & JIMMY as a couple becoming a family: Los Angeles, CA
JIMMY as a father: Each couple is different because no two people have exactly the same childhood memories. Their families lived in different areas and contained different family sizes. Jimmy, although an only child, grew up with many cousins and relatives, but later was cut off from his family when he and Tedi ran away and got married in Tijuana, Mexico. Tedi was brought up as a spoiled brat (her words). It was difficult for them to learn how to live together as a family. Being single children each were people basically concerned with their own needs; but they were very much in love.
Tedi had never been around babies. I was born 3 months premature; therefore, I stayed at the hospital in an incubator for 2+ months before I was brought home. Jimmy had taken care of younger cousins, so took over caring for the baby. Instead of hitting a happy medium, they reacted by trying to become direct opposites in some ways.
We lived on a sunny hill that had lots of poison oak near LA where we had freedom to play. They got us a pony to ride. I got poison oak numerous times. One time it covered my whole body even in my mouth etc; I couldn't eat or go to the bathroom without it hurting. Jimmy bought a milkshake for me to drink. A black maid cared for us while they worked. This was the depression era; people who could get jobs worked. The maid did the cooking mostly. We had to eat what ever was put in front of us. I hated squash, rutabagas and brains fried with eggs. I liked the white fish; Tedi told me it was only $.05/#. That is why we had it lots of times.
Jimmy and his friends played the violin and piano. Jimmy had a Mormon friend who was at the house a lot. We had a pony we rode all over. We went hiking with Gertrude Nagel (Tedi's friend) and her husband Ed. Another family they were quite friendly with was Lucy and Al Taliaferro (Jim went to high school with Al) and their kids, Cheryl and Bill, who were about our age. We would see Lucy, Cheryl, and Bill at Sunday school then go to their house afterwards occasionally.
Jimmy's strict German upbringing did not fade. Before WWII I recall being beaten with a razor strap numerous times. He would say he will not stop until I stopped crying. I learned my lessons well - to show no emotions. One time down at the barn a horse pushed me into the wall with a nail sticking out. The nail went thru my leg; I passed out. Craig ran to get help. I woke up in the house all bloody. I still have a scar. One time I fell off the pony with my foot caught in the saddle stirrup. I got knocked out and dragged all the way back to the barn.
Some time in this period we legally changed our last name. By dropping Jimmy's last name Stumpf and keeping Jimmy's middle name Craig they eliminated the problems created by having a German name during WWII. Von Stumpf was also the head of the German Air Force. We were at war. Being in a court room was impressive to me.
During WWII Jimmy worked in Central America on the building of the Pan American Highway. During the 2 years he was gone, our life changed. They lost their house on the hill, sold our pony, and moved to town. I had a lot of make-believe friends and horses; I talked with these make-believe friends. Also I sucked my thumb. They were embarrassed and harassed me about these.
TEDI as a person and mother:
Tedi always wore skirts or dresses. The first time I recall her wearing pants was on hikes in NM. After she took up fine arts she started wearing pants all the time.
Her reaction to her sheltered childhood was to try to raise us as independent people. She despised inactivity and always had to be doing something. She spent time with us reading or talking as she drove us to school, but she seldom hugged us or comforted us in any sort of natural ways. Bruce and I became very close.
The Bible was introduced early into my life. I loved the old Bible stories -- Daniel and the Lions den, Samuel, David and Goliath, and the travels and travails of the Israelites. I wondered, as a young child, why these people didn't stick with God when they could see what happened to them when they didn't. Yet their progress [as well as mine] came only with experience.
Hollywood, CA
After Jimmy left, discipline became more physically gentle; but very persuasive. I don't recall Tedi ever hitting me (maybe she did). One way of her discipline came in the form of charts with red, blue, or gold stars that we had to earn. I don't remember what happened when we got everything filled up. However, that started a fierce competition between Bruce and me. The chart on the wall was something that you could compare and either come up winning or losing. She started allowances with fines for bad behavior.
During WWII we lived near Paramount Studios where she worked. Occasionally she would take us to a cafe next to Paramount and we would see people dressed in wild costumes, a world of make believe. She was pregnant when Jim left. It was hard for her by herself. She would encourage us to feel the baby kicking and talked about the new baby that would be a part of our family. We ate dinner at a little cafe near home a lot since she hated to cook.
Tedi told me Gene Autry use to bounce me on his knee when I was a baby. What I learned was money and fame isn't important; we visited some of her friends at various rich peoples houses. I saw people lying dead drunk passed out. WHY??? I ask myself.
On Easter weekend she lost the baby, a boy. The night when she left to go to the maternity home she stood in the hazy light with a scarf over her head. I thought she was so beautiful. Later we visited her on Easter Sunday and hunted eggs in a beautiful garden. The baby's death was never discussed other that he died in birth. Years later, I found out he was strangled with the umbilical cord around his neck. She had been given lots of baby things by people at work and for the first time had sufficient supplies and equipment for a baby. It was a loss she felt silently with no comfort from a distant husband. It must have been hard on her.
For a short while I was in a public school. I had trouble in school. One time, I remember sitting on a tall stool with a tall pointy dunce hat on. How humiliating. Shortly after that she tried putting us in a boarding school. That lasted one week. We cried so much when she came to visit us the following weekend that she brought us straight home. Craig and I had been separated, girls and boys dorms. They took his stuffed horse 'Smoky' away from him and I had to keep rescuing Smoky for him from the garbage can. Since Tedi took our mattresses to the school, we had to fight bed bugs when we brought them home. We laid both mattresses out on the lawn and poured gasoline on them and left them to dry in the sun.
We were then entered in a private Christian Science School, Berkeley Hall. When we first went to visit, it was Xmas time. There was a huge fire in a big fireplace and a big Xmas tree (how warm and inviting), with some sort of sparkly round decorations that I supposed to be sugar plums. I felt much happier there with a very loving atmosphere. School ran throughout the entire year. We learned how to run carpentry equipment. They had an aviary with peacocks. The only really traumatic thing that happened to me was in the 3rd grade. The teacher made me write with my right hand. I remember practicing the piano or piano lessons in 3rd grade at school. A huge pointer stick came slamming down on my hand if I wrote with my left hand. In 4th grade Mrs. Coger allowed me to write with my left hand.
In contrast our country was at war. The films at the picture show were either war films and newsreels, cowboy shoot-em-ups, cartoons or musicals. Fantasia, Bambi, Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs etc was the beginning of the Walt Disney era. The war pictures showed vividly the machinery of destruction, airplanes, bombing etc. They were meant to gain support of the war cause. Films of the starvation of peoples of Nazi Germany were shown. Games we played were war games. The war eventually lead to the invention of the Hydrogen bomb and proliferation of the nuclear arsenal then fallout shelters - people in quiet desperation at the hopelessness of life.
We also had a cat named Beautiful. We watched the miracle of birth when she had a batch of kittens. The house in Hollywood and back yard in particular were overrun with fleas. I use to be eaten up with bites on my legs when I went out to burn the trash in the incinerator. We did like to play in the stand of bamboo in the yard.
Discipline was a time-out period in the cloak room. There were no paddling as had happened in public school. I had trouble learning to read. I was clumsy and uncoordinated so Tedi sent us to dancing school. We learned tap dance and acrobatics. It was really fun and helped. As I became better coordinated,I became good at sports and became more confident with myself. I had lots of friends there. We attended Sunday School regularly.
Glendale, CA
As parents together: After WWII and being evicted from the house in Hollywood when it sold, we moved to Glendale into a house that Al and Lucy owned. Just before the move our wire haired terrier, Damsel, was hit by a car and her back was broken; she dragged her back legs around. It was pitiful. After a couple of weeks, without telling us kids, they had her put to sleep. (Jimmy told me this years later.) During the move Bruce and I searched and searched. I was frantic that we just left her, so helpless. I would wake up at night worrying about her.
Tedi and Jimmy went into the dress making business. They had a dream of being in a business of their own. Remember Jimmy's Dad owned his own store. This was a very time consuming undertaking. Jimmy would leave for work before we woke up and get home after we were asleep. I was afraid to go to sleep at night; I had the feeling the walls were closing in on me and going to crush me. We were not allowed to have a night light. I wet my bed until I was in 4th grade. My dreams seemed so real that I even thought I would get up and go to the bathroom and then pee in the bed. As a result I was always tired at school. During morning recess I had to take a nap in the teacher's office; instead of napping at times I recall longingly looking out the window watching all the kids playing. I thought this was unfair.
One time I left a glass Clorox bottle on edge of the bath tub. Bruce was taking a bath in the bath tub and fell against the bottle; it fell in the tub and broke. Bruce got a cut on his foot then the Clorox burned. He started jumping up and down on the broken glass. This just sliced his feet up. I felt so bad that this happened because of my carelessness. Boy, did I get yelled at and I had to stay home the next day to take care of him. Yes, it was my fault!
After I repeated 4th grade I did OK at my school work. Why I say OK is that Bruce without much effort made A's easily. He was always put up as an example. "Why can't you be as smart as Bruce?" I do remember Bruce had lots of discipline problems. He also developed the habit of chewing his nails and a nervous cough. I could always find him in a crowd because of that cough.
Tedi read the Bible lesson to us each morning. She also read the Monitor and we discussed various articles, one article was on the atom formation with electrons. She would drill us with arithmetic as we drove to town; then let us off at the downtown LA bus terminal to catch a public transportation bus to school in Beverly Hills. I remember the American flag flying at half mask and ask the conductor Why? President Roosevelt had died was his answer.
After school, we would ride a bus and trolley car home except on Friday afternoon when Granddaddy picked us up from school. Bruce and I took turns fixing dinner. Sometimes Tedi would join us for dinner. We were always in bed when Jim arrived home. They forgot my 11th birthday. They were just not aware of our whereabouts or what we did for long periods of time. Kim's of California took up much of their time; we got ignored.
One night the first and only time they had a loud argument; Jimmy slammed the door and left. I cried; I was afraid we would never see him again. However, he came back home the next night. Bruce and I were tumbling on our bunk bed one time. I rolled off the top bunk, hitting a chest of drawers going down with my back. Boy did that hurt. Never again.
They wanted to teach us how to handle money. Each week we received a large allowance. The money was divided up into various little tin cans - for the school bus, the movie, our clothes and shoes, and broken dishes. I though that was terribly unfair. Being clumsy I dropped many of them and then had to pay for a new dish. I recall really trying to be careful and that 'the wet platter just dropped right out of my hand anyway.' How disappointed I was with myself. [With my kids I used plastic dishes and glasses. I didn't punish them for not having manual dexterity. I always tried to be fair.] We were fined for misbehavior.
I liked to ride horses; we would rent them by the hour at Griffith Park. If we didn't have money to ride we would sit at the corral edge and watch the horses wander around. We also wandered in the concrete-lined Los Angeles River.
I woke up one night to an earthquake shaking the house. We had a apricot tree that we climbed in and sat to eat tree-ripe apricots. How delicious! The patio had a trellis covered with a huge wisteria vine that we loved to play in. Bruce and I use to play for hours on our beds with blankets for mountains and caves with little men we made from pipe cleaners and buttons with little horses we got from the dime store. We had a vivid imagination. I remember in a storm lightening flashing thru a broken window in the door to hit a metal filing cabinet as I ran down the hall (flashing between my legs). Scary.
Weekends (3rd and 4th grade) consisted of our going down to the factory and Jimmy teaching us how to clean and fix the sewing machines. I learned to sew some and cut out fabric. Tedi fitted clothes on me. I was taught how to walk and hold myself properly. I had perms regularly. A model has to do this. I missed some school because I modeled the clothes at fashion shows or for publicity photos.
Bruce and I ran (or should I say roller skated) the streets of downtown Los Angeles, zipping in and out of people in the crowded downtown area. I saw drunks lying in the gutters sometimes grabbing at us, beggars, a flasher, people throwing rocks and yelling during strikes, a building on fire – all sorts of things that frighten children. One time the elevator in the factory building fell a few floors to the basement area with Bruce and me in it. I remember being thrown to the floor. When the door opened I didn't know where we were. I was afraid, actually terrified. I thought we had fallen to hell since a big furnace with flames was burning. Some people showed up picked us up and inspected us to make sure we were OK. Kids look at things with different eyes than adults. After years of struggle, they went bankrupt after taking a partner into the company for additional capital. A Dream shattered.
A NEW START: We left LA and took our first vacation together. We crossed the deserts of California, Arizona, Nevada and New Mexico, camping at night and going swimming during the day for a bath. We saw the Grand Canyon, ice caves, Indians, and beautiful desert country. It was great just spending time together. They decided they liked Santa Fe; Jimmy found a job at the state highway department. Bruce and Tedi went back to California to pack up the household furniture and move. I stayed and cooked (including grocery shopping) for Jimmy. We had an ice box to keep things cold. When Tedi and Bruce came back on the train we were late picking them up. Jimmy was speeding 60 mph down the highway as he looked across at me and stated we are going a mile a minute. I thought WOW.
Santa Fe, NM
Our life changed dramatically, for the most part life became fun. It snowed lots there; we had fun sledding and snowball fights. We had breakfast, lunch, and dinner together as a family. [This was new to us.] The dining table was a picnic table and benches. This became the central gathering place, lively discussions, arguments, homework and games played there. Occasionally we had company for dinner. We went to local Indian tribe dances and hiked. Jim had to work on the car lots and we watched him. He got a Shop Smith lathe and showed us how to use it. We fell asleep at night to him playing the piano. Bruce and I changed from private school into public schools. That was a dramatic eye opener.
The first year, 5th grade, we were 2 of the only 3 gringos in this school. We were taunted, chased home, heard and learned all sorts of bad words and some Spanish. Quite a culture shock. This was basically a Spanish Catholic community. However, the other gringo's (Kay?) family had horses. Sometimes we spent the night with her family and rode all over the country side next day. What freedom! One time I fell off the horse down a small rock wall and got knocked out. That ended our riding.
Jimmy helped me with my homework; he showed me how to do math problems with algebra. My grades improved. I wrote spelling words over and over (generally a disciplinary action). I had failed spelling. The shame I felt made me vow never to fail anything again. I learned how to pass tests, not how to learn the material. The following year we transferred to a more racially balanced school. We learned to type [a very good tool] one summer and began learning short hand the next summer. He also had me practice lettering and layout work for posters. [This stood me in good stead when I began working as a draftsman.] We had many friends.
Tedi had a custom dress shop. I worked in it sewing for her. She was very precise. I had to take a lot of stitching out and re-sew whatever piece I was working on. The shop was in an old adobe house with walls 4' thick, an interior patio and an exterior covered patio. I remember playing in a barn on 2 different horse-drawn carriages.
For a short while Grandma and Granddaddy came and lived with us. They were shocked at our language (a cuss word, SOB, we learned from the Spanish kids). The combination of that and they couldn't receive California welfare monies for the elderly if they didn't live in CA forced them to move back to CA.
Money was tight. We had a boarder, a Hungarian lady, live with us for a while. They sold Jimmy's redwood bookcases. Bruce and I had to carry each one up the dirt road to the new owners house. We would get one pair of brown shoes a year. They found a little dog we named Poca who later had a puppy we named Tita. We learned to hit baseballs good because Poca loved to chase and retrieve them. We learned to ride bikes. I use to love singing in the school 6th grade choirs. The choir teacher kicked me out with the comment that I couldn't carry a tune. I was crushed. Jimmy's joking bothered me. He would tell me something and as a child I believed it and would ask "Oh, really?" He would answer, "No, O'Reilly", then laugh at me. I would feel humiliated and want to go hide; but I had learned to not show this disappointment. I always hated that answer. I stood up tall like Grandma had taught me. [I tried to never humiliate my children because of this remembrance.]
We were somewhat open in discussions; when we had questions or problems we talked things out. They never baby-talked to us. Only one time in my life do I remember Jimmy saying a cuss word. Our English was always corrected on the spot. There was no yelling in the home; but when they were mad at us we knew. They wanted us to be aware of the world around us as well as our immediate surroundings. Tedi read the CS Monitor to us regularly. They encouraged us to read. They wanted us to think about what we were doing in context with what was happening around us. Tedi being a artist taught us about art - to look at shapes, colors, textures, light patterns with shadows. Jimmy with his music taught us about sound - to listen to the wind, birds, to let our senses be aware of life and appreciate things.
'Become aware of what is going around you' was never truer than what happened to me one night, or rather what could have happened. During a period that Jimmy was working over time, after dinner Tedi would walk to his office to meet him at work. They would then walk home. Bruce and I were supposed to be in the house while she was gone. But as always after she left we went outside to play. One night after it got dark suddenly I realized all the girls had gone home. Some of the boys started chasing me. I ran into the house (they followed), then out on the roof, slid down the roof drain spout, skinning my arms raw, and hid in a area under a slanted shed tin roof. Bruce was trying to distract these boys from me. He finally got them interested in sliding on the roof. They insisted he prove I hadn't hid in the basement. He told them it was locked which was true. By then he didn't really know where I was. He opened the door and they followed him down the dark stairs. He poked his finger in my eye, saying, “See, no one is here". I stood there frozen and remained silent even though my eye hurt. Bruce had saved me for sure. I stayed there quietly in fear for what seemed like an eternity while these boys and Bruce slid, as on a slide, on the roof. They ran off when they saw my parents approaching. We were both able to duck into the house and into bed without Tedi and Jimmy ever knowing of the incident. We didn't play outside after dark there after that. It scared both of us.
We all started square dancing. Bruce and I took lessons with a group of all the Protestant children JEYPS at the Episcopal church in town. This was lots of fun and became a family entertainment when Tedi and Jimmy took lessons too. I met a boy there and we went to the show together, my first date at age 12. Bruce found us at the theater and sat behind me and just pestered us. I complained bitterly to Tedi. How embarrassing! She explained he was jealous and was afraid he would lose me as his friend. I didn't date again until a junior in high school. We traveled around to different square dances. At one dance in Texas they met an engineer who Jimmy eventually began working for.
Lubbock, Texas
We moved to Texas when Jimmy took a job at this engineer’s office. He worked a lot of overtime there. In rapid succession we lived in 3 houses within 1 school year. The first 2 houses had no hot water and little heat and it snowed that year. Bruce and I would let Poca and Tita sleep under the covers at our feet then traded who got the cat for around our neck. We were cold. I woke up one morning to find snow on my bed; it had blown through the cracks in the window. Since we moved (3 schools in 1 school year) so much Bruce and I were our only friends. Aunt Eva gave us enough money for Xmas to get some used bikes. We rode them a lot for fun and to school. In the 3rd house we repainted the walls, sanded the oak wood floors and planted a garden that spring.
Tedi did advertising design for department store newspaper ads. The South was a culture shock to us. "Colored" and "White" were the signs on water fountains and restrooms. We ran the water to see if it was really colored. “Segregation” had to be explained to us. [To this day I still can't understand man's inhumanity to man.]
I guess the most eventful thing to happen there was Bruce and I were kicked out of school for a few weeks while the legal system was challenged over the fact they claimed that we didn't have the state required vaccinations. In obedience to the law in Santa Fe, Tedi took us to a doctor's office for the required vaccinations. Texas school authorities, however, said the shot did not take because we had no scars. The school authorities insisted the shots be given again. At this point Jimmy stepped in and said "No way". He had been given this shot 7 times as a young man before it took. He then became gravely ill. No way was this going to happen to his children. He and Tedi worked through the Christian Science Church organization to protest this ruling and in the end we were admitted back into school without additional shots.
Personal Care: Tedi hated perfume; she said people wore it so they didn't have to take baths. We had to take baths daily. There was absolutely no excuse not to be clean. The first house we lived in in Texas didn't have hot water. I use to go into the bathroom, run water in the tub, splash it around, scream loudly pretending I was taking a bath. No way was I going to get in that cold water. I wanted to be clean so I would heat a pan of water and take a sponge bath. She always wore makeup and had her hair done. She always wore it long, although I never saw it down loose. It was held up with combs or in a snood. She always had a permanent. She and Jimmy had put on weight and they went on a diet. We all began counting calorie all the time, began weighing on scales daily. [I have refused to have a scale in my house for years because of this. A person isn't just what he weighs or what he wears or what he looks like. I don't like people that stink and aren't neat. But there is so much more to people than that.]
Jimmy had an ethics problem with the engineer he was working for an looked around for another engineering job. We moved to Georgia.
Jr High and High School.
Country living North of Marietta, GA
Jimmy had accepted a new job at Lockheed (a company he had worked for at the beginning of WWII) in Marietta, Ga. This became his last employer. We moved again this time to the GA countryside north of Marietta and attended a little country school. For the first time I saw children with no shoes. In eighth grade we rode a school bus across dirt roads, stoked a wood stove, listened to a preacher read and preach from the Bible during school, basically goof off during that entire school year. It was the first time I ever made any A's or B's. I also taught 1st and 2nd grade when the teacher was sick-absent and worked in the principal's office. It was fun and I felt important. I also joined the girl's soft ball team and traveled around to various country schools to play.
The rock house in the country had 2 bedrooms and 2 porches. For a while my bedroom was in a porch while Bruce and T&J had a bedroom. It became bitterly cold. They finally put Visqueen covered with curtains around the larger porch and T&J moved into that. Tedi and Jimmy would go from their bedroom to the bathroom nude. After I finally told them that this made me very uncomfortable, they discontinued that practice. The kitchen was again the focal point of family life; for one thing that was the only heated room. Bruce almost got electrocuted in the attic where he and Jimmy were working. When I heard him screaming, I was scared. Jimmy had to throw himself against Bruce to get him free from the electrical line. He saved Bruce.
Our activities now included: cutting wood for the fireplace; wandering around the city dump trying to avoid the pigs and collect coke bottles for spending money; playing in the Negro cemetery across the road from us; watching the plowing of corn fields with a mule, a well being drilled, a hog being slaughtered; picking corn and okra for the farmers; and clear an area and make a 1/2 basket ball court where we spent hours playing lots and lots of basketball, Sunday school. Assemblies in that country school had challenges of who could recite various Bible verses. I was surprised Bruce and I knew more of the Bible than children from the so called "Bible Belt" of the country.
Marietta, GA
They moved to Marietta to get us into a better school. High school, changing classes, walking to school passing the blacks going the opposite way to their school, listening to the black evangelical preacher (a Negro church was behind the house where we lived), being late to school when we got caught at the RR Xing because of trains switching, ping pong, swimming, soft ball, basket ball, picking iris and black berries, Tedi going to Atlanta for art classes, sewing, Bruce's airplanes, Sunday school, mowing the lawn, Stalin on his death bed, doctors putting leaches on him to suck blood, cold war, fall out shelters, dieting, the ever encroaching kudzu vines, the catching of mice in the attic and listening to rats falling in the walls at night became a part of life. Tedi and I visited a jail one spring afternoon when she was delivering literature; the caged feeling, the clank of the bar door closing and the dirt jail cells made a very deep impression.
When we drove along country roads we would see chain gangs of convicts (mostly Negroes) in black and white stripped suits doing road work with a guard and a shot gun watching them. All a rather care free life with some disturbing undertones. They sold the old 37 Chevy and bought a 48 De Soto.
Periodically school counselors would run tests on students. I resented this so decided I would rig their answers. I made my mind up what I wanted the results to be each time and would answer the questions to suit the situation. I always succeeded in fooling them. I never knew if other kids did the same; conscientiously it was a game to me. Maybe I was rejecting that they had authority over me, my thoughts, and my future. I had constructed a shell around myself and I intended to keep it there for protection to maintain a semblance of dignity.
I well understood Tedi's disgust with people that were overweight. I had always been slightly chubby. My dieting methods included: banana or grapefruit diets, go a week without eating; eating pickles to kill my appetite, or eat then force myself to vomit. I finally managed to lose about 15 lbs. To this day I hate pickles. I then began fluctuating up and down 5 lbs with crazy diets.
One summer when I was 16 I made a 3 day train trip across the country to see Grandma and Granddaddy. I didn't have enough money for 3 days of train food and got very hungry. There was a lot of troop movement due to the Korean war. Coming back Grandma made me some cheese sandwiches; the mayonnaise spoiled and I got food poisoning. Again I got very hungry. Seeing the country was interesting. Not good memories of this visit; I had no one to talk to and all my grandparents did was watch TV. Granddaddy did let me go over to Griffith Park and rent a horse to ride. After I rode and was sitting waiting for him to pick me up, the man who worked at the stable tried to molest me. I fled and waited for Granddaddy at the corner. I was scared.
Atlanta, GA
Jimmy began getting increases of pay. While they continued to live on his original salary, they saved the increases until finally they had a down payment for a house. What a thrill that was to them; to own their own home again. To get us in better schools, Jimmy began a long daily commute when they bought a house in Atlanta and he commuted to Marietta.
A new high school, bussing, trying to fix the storm drainage in the basement from the rain storms, Bruce's radio stuff, sewing, baby sitting, basketball, Tedi's art, T&J starting an exercise program (sit ups, swimming, square dancing), Tedi (they had to borrow money for these trips) taking trips back to CA to see grandma and granddaddy, Jimmy's Toastmaster Club, the big First Christian Science of Atlanta with all the youth activities, lots of teenage friends became a part of life. We had this church youth group over; we eat and played games such as ping pong in the basement recreation room. These parties were fun. Bruce and I played tennis at the tennis court located in the golf course. I had a heat stroke one summer afternoon where I almost passed out. Brucehelped me make it home from the tennis court. At another place after playing tennis one afternoon, I tossed the racket down on a bank at the grounds and wearily flopped down on it breaking my tail bone. Boy, did it hurt. Jimmy started giving me back rubs to relieve the pain. I had to sit on a rubber ring for many months. How embarrassing that was at high school.
One time I was walking by the old jail in downtown Atlanta and I heard a man yelling. It sank in later that this man was being beaten for a confession.
We attended Sunday school regularly. I loved to sing hymns. They became a source of comfort when I was in doubt. I was never able to be a believer – to just accept something that was told me. It seems as if in everything I have done I have had to strive to gain an insight then to demonstrate within my life that God loves me. I knew the Ten Commandments. I understood what Jesus went thru for us. I certainly never renounced God. I prayed regularly.
Looking back on this jumbled childhood I believe the only thing that kept me on track was my firm conviction that God as a loving, caring Father-Mother would protect me and that basically God knew me as a good person. I am sure my life would have been easier if I wasn't always striving, testing, trying to prove to myself that God is there protecting and loving me even though it seemed to me no one else cared. As a reflection of this all-powerful God I could not be limited. I became fairly self confident.
As a high school junior, I started dating Joe Cromwell and going to fraternity parties at Ga Tech. He talked about his studies and got me interested in engineering. I finished high school 6 months early, then took a job in downtown Atlanta working for an insurance company as a secretary and file clerk. Within 2 months I knew I wanted to do more with my life and started to college at night school. Neither Bruce nor I attended our high school graduation. I only remember 2 people in my senior year -- Jill McMillan (a neighbor about 5 houses up the street from us whom we played basket ball with) and, of course, Bruce. Only 2 of our graduating class did not go on to college. I visited Joe Cromwell's family in Washington DC (also toured the capitol); his parents didn't approve of me and bribed him to break up with me by giving him a new car. That hurt my feelings; we had dated 2 years by then. Oh well; show no emotions. I went on to later graduate from GA Tech as the third girl to have an engineering degree. Lots of hard work and studying. That showed them. Ha!
To teach me about money, Tedi had me make out their budget, pay bills, balance bank statements and grocery shop within this budget. With some money from my saving account I bought a walnut dining room set, a hutch, table and chairs. This replaced the picnic dining table we ate on.
College: Bruce went away to MIT in Boston. I stayed at home my first year and enrolled at GA Tech. But to get into GA Tech I had to have 3 engineering graduates sign my application; luckily Jimmy, as a Lockheed department head, was able to get 3 signatures from engineers that worked under him at Lockheed. I was accepted. Yea!
After my first year the economy was down. I was a woman who had no drafting experience when I began searching for a job. No one wanted a woman engineer. At interviews, I said I would work for free just to get that needed experience. Finally one of Jimmy's Toastmaster friends, an architect and GA Tech professor, gave me a nonpaying job. I worked for 20 hrs/week for 2 months then he began paying me. Besides drafting I also set up his accounting system so he could file taxes properly. Luckily I had just had an accounting class.
While Tedi had been away a week on a trip to CA with Jimmy, I simply left home. I was now on my own. My contact with them basically ceased for quite a while except when Bruce was home and occasionally we had dinner together. Aunt Eva basically paid for my first year's college schooling. But now I had to make a living on my own. Reality set in.
PHASE ONE OF MY LIFE ENDED - CHILDHOOD.
In Retrospect: Feb 2017
I now know I am dyslexic and ambidextrous. That is why I had so much trouble learning. A 6,9, g, b, alpha and beta all look the same to me. When I read out loud to an audience I have to follow the words with my finger to make sure I say the word in right order. If you think about it I really read fast. Seeing things backwards to others had an advantage in checking plans later when I worked for OR State Planning checking. I would see problems immediately. I developed programs there to write reviews quickly and I was told the state had to hire 3 people to accomplish what I did in a day.
There also was some sort of magnetism in my body that will screw up computer disks (it also screwed up my watches as a kid. (No, Tedi, I was not careless with my watch as I was always made to feel guilty). I did learn to make copies of disks at work each time I had a new one because a disk will only last me a week or two.
I also believe my being a preemie baby of 6 months is why I have so many problems with foods, alcohol, drugs etc. We are polluted with chemical fertilizer and sprays affecting our food as well as with electrode magnetic pluses affecting our brain. Example: The microwave oven that started to kill my hearing. Even now with hearing aids when I walk under certain areas at home, outside or in stores I hear a loud electrical buzzing. I had one sip of some alcohol drink at Bob's Uncle Carlton's place (in Anaheim CA) and woke up in the hospital 3 days later with Tedi already there from Ga to watch the kids.
Jimmy encouraged me - taught me math, wood working, surveying, English, typing, shorthand. Tedi taught me to believe in GOD, accounting practices, sewing, art. They both taught me to be active, to be outdoors, good work ethics and honesty; we are responsible for ourselves. They certainly taught me the love of animals (our dogs and cats), including horses. Be responsible and dependable. The incident with Damsel taught me to be completely honest with my children -- in other words don't hide things until they are older; I never wanted them to feel guilt that they betrayed an animals trust and when an animal is hurting so bad; it is time to put them down. Yes, I know that is really a hard thing to face.
Bruce, my best friend and brother for almost 79 years, calls us old geezers. Growing up with him was fun. Bruce helped save me more than once. I love him dearly.
Kim is now trying to be responsible for herself by studying many herbal remedies (old and new) to keep herself healthy since she has had some very strong negative reactions with both the drug and food industry. Having gone unconscious with just a shot and waking up in a hospital is not for me again. Certain drugs causes my body to flush or gives me ulcers. It seems I can work with most herbal meds. However, even one of these with stem cell stuff caused my body to flush. I will keep learning.
This to me is family information I can remember.
Kim